Can You Carry This For Me, Please?!

In Changes That Heal, Dr. Henry Cloud, states that the biblical basis for boundaries “exists between our identities, wills, and responsibilities…when we think of boundaries, we think of limits. Boundaries give us a sense of what is part of us and what is not part of us, what we will allow and what we won’t, what we will choose to do and what we will choose not to do.” It is important to have good boundaries in all aspects of our lives’. Part of having boundaries, is having the ability to say “yes” or “no” to people. We are responsible for our own limits and not letting those be crossed by others.

To help students apply this to their everyday lives’ we did a biking program on limits. Before the ride started we unloaded a bunch of random gear: tents, sleeping pads, gallons of water, kayak paddles, life jackets, etc. The gear needed to be transported by bike from where we were to another destination for a learning activity. Everyone started grabbing their fair share of equipment; strapping things onto their backs, putting on life jackets, hooking water jugs onto their backpacks, and attempted to ride with bag in between their legs. After we started bike riding, the staff (Nic, John, and I) slowly started to unload our gear onto the students. I would say “my knees are really hurting do you mind carrying this for me?” or “I really like this rock, can you put this in your backpack for me, mine is full” and so on…

In the beginning they were all quick to say “yes” to carrying our things. It wasn’t until I was riding without anything that some started to catch on, yet they still continued to say yes. During our debrief we talked about how easy it is to say “yes” to people you know, respect, and trust. Often times, people are stepping over our limits without realizing it, but it is our personal responsibility to stop that. Cloud says, “we decide what limits we will set on ourselves, and let others be responsible for the limits they set on themselves.” Everyone really learned the importance of limits with this program. We hope and pray that they will think back on in the future when they’re asked to do something outside of their limits.